It's Not Me, It's My Cheese
My friend invited me to come over this evening and sit on her roof, which doesn’t sound like fun until you do it. She lives in downtown Brooklyn, and from her roof, you get a great view of downtown Manhattan plus a large part of Brooklyn. She promised me sparkling red wine and crackers and good conversation about books, and I just had to bring the cheese.
I LOVE cheese, so this was an easy request. I went and picked some up before work, and stuck it in the fridge, and then when I was leaving work, tossed the cheese in my bag.
I didn’t realize what a bad idea this was until I was stuck underground waiting for the train in the steambath that is the subway platform in July. It was about a million degrees today, and sticky, and everyone was sweating, and, well, I like my cheese soft and smelly. I never met a stinky cheese I didn't like. But in the heat, the smell intensified. I pretty much stank like feet. So there I was, standing on the platform, smelling ripe, and I realized there’s no good way to tell people “It’s not me, it’s just my cheese!”
The smell didn’t even go away after I got to my friend’s place, consumed more than my fair share of cheese, and headed home. I sat on the train and held my breath because something reeked. That’s when I realized it was my bag. It still smelled like blue cheese. But oh man, it was good.
The lesson for today is, next time someone smells like butt, you just have to keep in mind that maybe they have some Stinking Bishop in their pocket (the name should give it away, right? But how can you resist?). Judge not lest ye be judged and all that, because if you’re rally nice, they just might share.
9 comments:
I would never judge about stinky cheese, because YUM stinky cheese...but sparkling RED wine?
boggle
OMG I LOVE CHEESE! Is that really the cheese's name? I have to try that. Right now I'm on a gruyere kick and my husband hates it b/c it stinks up the whole house.
Camy
Hahahahaha, Anne, you are awesome. I'm using that excuse from now on...after I work out...when I neglect to brush my teeth...if/when I let a little puff of gas out...
Great story. I think sitting on the roof would be very cool. Sounds like you had a great night.
Monica of Friends once said, "I love stinky cheese. To me, the stinkier the better."
The first time I saw that I thought, "GROSS!" But now, I LOVE cheese. Even stinky cheese, especially if you pair it with a good wine. But I'm with daltowen - sparkling red wine? As in non-alcoholic? What's the fun in that?
I have to weigh in on this one - I too, love stinky cheese.
I was in France last year with my students and a good friend who also loves stinky cheese. We both bought several rounds of Camembert and kept them in our hostel fridge (they stunk out the fridge, but the smell didn't spread.) But then we had to get on the plane to go back to England. Suzie put her cheese in her checked bag, but I put mine in my carry-on. Big mistake. After a few hours out, the cheese STUNK. Really foul. But as it is France, people understand this. I went through security and the TSA agent made a face, looked in my bag and then asked, "fromage?" "Oui," I replied. She smiled and I moved on. Well, one of my students came after me and his bag must have smelled too, because she asked him, "fromage?" He turned bright red and answered, "shoes."
Vive la France!
My friend once said, How can you eat something that smells like feet?
I thought, Wow. That's a good point.
Then I had another hunk of the stuff.
It's just good. It's hard to explain!
LOL! To me the smell of beer stinks far worst than any cheese I've tasted. Cheese rocks!!!
Don't worry, Natalie, sparking red wine definitely has alcohol. It's like sparking white wine, or champagne, but it's made with red grapes. It's absolutely delicious. It has the richness of red wine with all the fun of bubbles!
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